My mom lived an amazing life. Multiple careers in two countries. Our family is small, but the extended family reaches all over the world. Her friends, her colleagues who turned into friends, her students who turned into friends, and many more.
Let me share three things about her that I think also became part of who I am.
The first one maybe a surprise to you unless you worked with her during her teaching days. She is well known for her strictness. She can walk into any chaotic classroom and a hush will follow. But she is known for making faces at her fellow teachers out of view of students to make them laugh. She had a dry sense of humor that makes people laugh in the most unexpected situation. For me she was the OG prankster.
The second is what my kids and I called the mama special skill. Wherever she is, she always makes genuine connections with everyone, especially support staffs. She was always best friends with chefs and waiters, cleaners and drivers. She did it not because we often get special treatments, which we do. She instinctively knew how hard people work, how much we should appreciate people. She made friends with everyone. Learnt about their lives, and offered to help anyone who needs help. This went all the way to her last stay at the assisted living facility. The doctors and nurses took such good care of her because they shared many meals and laughs years before.
The third goes back to when I was very young. Mom’s favorite singer was Doris Day. One of her favorite song was “Que Sera, Sera,”. It is a simple song with a catchy lyrics and melody. I never quite get it until much later in life. I think she liked that song because it reflected her philosophy to life. It was not “I do not know what will happen”, but “face life’s challenges with resilience”. She perhaps foresaw that she will live a rich and complex life. The world changed so much during her time. Yet she took charge, enjoyed every bit of it, and enriched a lot of lives wherever she went.
Laughed often and loved much. Respect and appreciate others. Be resilient.
That’s my mom.
To paraphrase the often misattributed poem Success by Bessie Anderson Stanley:
She has achieved success
who has lived well,
laughed often, and loved much;
who has enjoyed the trust of
pure others,
the respect of intelligent people and
the love of little children;
who has filled her niche and accomplished her task;
who has left the world better than she found it
whether by a greener garden,
a perfect poem or a rescued soul;
who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty
or failed to express it;
who has always looked for the best in others and
given them the best she had;
whose life was an inspiration;
whose memory a blessing.
